Shepherding a Child's Heart (Chapter 5ish)

We all have goals for our children and they are often reflected in how we treat them. We want our children to be successful. There can be different definitions of success leading to different methods of attempting to achieve success. So we set goals. These are things we may have consciously decided or unconsciously carry out.

The book discusses different unbiblical goals like “developing special skills” (like sports, music lessons…). Now, of course you can use special skills to serve the Lord, but if the aim of the special skill is to glorify the child or parent, it is unbiblical. Another unbiblical method of preparing your child for success is “psychological adjustment”. Using the latest pop psychology to increase your child’s self-esteem or teaching them how to “be effective with people”. Not all pop psychology is bad, but we should always ask if it is biblical.

How can you teach your children to function in God’s kingdom, where it is the servant who leads, if you teach them how to make the people in their world serve them? (Tripp 41)

Sometimes parents will think that if their child “gets saved” then all of their problems will go away. Oftentimes a parent’s objective is to get their child to pray the “prayer of salvation” not realizing that whether your child is saved or not has nothing to do with raising your child. Salvation comes from the Lord and we should be careful not to deceive a child into thinking they are saved, but shepherd a child on their journey toward Christ. Obviously salvation is a wonderful thing and not to be taken lightly. Such an important decision between your child and the King of the Universe is something all followers of Christ hope for and rightly so, but we know that it is just that, a decision between your child and God. When we allow God to do a work in our children it becomes a decision they can be confident in. Thank the Lord that he uses us as parents to prepare the hearts of our children for this decision.

There are a few other nonbiblical goals discussed in the book and I will get to them in another post. So let’s just get to the biblical goal…

BIBLICAL GOAL: “Glorify God and enjoy him forever”

Why is this so difficult…
We pander to their desires and wishes. We teach them to find their souls delight in going places and doing things. We attempt to satisfy their lust for excitement. We fill their young lives with distractions from God. We give them material things and take delight in their delight in possessions. Then we hope that somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving God. (Tripp 45)

I read this and immediately said “ouch”. I am soooo guilty of that. I feel sick. I need to pray. I will finish this post later.

On Raising a Terrifyingly Smart Toddler...

It's hard to believe that we are a family of four now! I am not entirely sure how that happened so quickly, except that it is what God wanted :). Speaking of God, the fact He is sovereign is something that I am becoming more and more confident in, especially these past 2.5 years "parenting". Having children has made me appreciate the love and providence of the Almighty in a way that I wish everyone could experience...

That being said, I believe with all of my heart that being a proactive parent will yield timely results in our kids. What I mean is our kids are a reflection of us and we should commit to excellence in all things for the glory of Christ by being consistent in teaching and training them to bring them up in the way they should go. So, basically they will learn according to the measure of what energy and time we put in to teach them something.

Right from the start with both Riley and now Jeremiah, Mandy and I have tried to read books with them, sing to them, and play with them every single day. Not just Dr. Seuss and other children's books, but books like the Bible, Pilgrim's Progress, Lord of the Rings, and the Chronicles of Narnia. We hope that it will help them tremendously to hear many different words every day. Also, little to no television is something we are now trying to implement and believe that it is for the better. But, we are new at this whole parenting thing and now Jeremiah might be 5 years old before he says anything after posting this. :) God has kept us humble as well through our children. At the end of the day, the intelligence of our children is God ordained before they were formed in the womb. But, all children have potential and we have a big responsibility in helping them reach that.




I say all of that to say this... Oftentimes your children will surprise you!

We have observed this and usually say something in the vein of, "Wow, when did you learn how to say or do that?"

It's incredible how much your kids are watching and observing you. They learn best from how we act, not by what we say.

So storytime..

Riley: "Hey Daddy, where is that airplane going?"
Daddy: "I don't know, girl."
Riley: "It's probably going to the airport."
Daddy: "Actually, you know what, you are exactly right."

One more story....

Daddy: "What did you learn in class today?"
Riley: "I learned about Jesus and that He died for me. He will heal all my boo-boo's and all your boo-boo's and He will hold my hand in Heaven."
Daddy: "Wow, that is more relevant than any status I've seen on facebook for months."

It's a sure bet that I need to start reviewing my algebra now if I am going to be any help with Riley's homework when she gets to middle school!

I have come to find that raising children is such a privilege and God gives each one of us special grace to accomplish His purposes.
I hope that my children leave our home one day not only having reached their full potential but also perservering in their faith in Jesus Christ.


- Jon