On Shepherding a Child's Heart (Ch 6)

So, chapter 5 was convicting and led to a lot of thought and prayer; which is always good. Basically there are a lot of things that Jon and I need to look at and evaluate as we strive to raise our children in a way that glorifies God. What are our motives for the things we do? Do we put too much focus on material things? Do we fill our child with distractions from God for our own convenience? See previous post for more insight.

Many of the unbiblical goals mentioned in chapter 5 are easily transformed into biblical goals when the aim and focus is to glorify God and not build a child’s self-esteem or push them toward perfectionism. For example, activities, such as dance, baseball, basketball, music, are excellent ways for your children to learn to glorify God with their talents and be good stewards of their bodies, as well as minister to new people they meet. There is a great dance studio in our town called Compass Dance Academy. Here is the description from their website…

Compass Dance Academy trains dancers of all ages in a joyous atmosphere where excellence is modeled through grace and encouragement, not fear and perfectionism. Our vision is to mentor each dancer to reach their full God given potential and release them to use their gift locally and around the world.

My daughter Riley LOVES to dance and I am planning on getting her dance lessons at this studio for her third birthday!! I am excited and although I will probably pass a couple of other dance academies along the way I believe it is worth the trip!

Our biblical goal for salvation should be one that doesn’t require our children to trust God once, but shepherds them into trusting God on a daily basis. Our lives and the way we parent must reflect that; again more insight on this in the previous post.

I have often wondered if teaching my child to have good manners is important. I think it is nice, but is it biblical? The book offers some good insight into this matter. If you read Philippians 2 you will see the importance of putting others interests before your own and that we should do nothing out of selfish ambition. Manners also express your consideration of those around you and respect for authority.

When saying “please” and “thank you” are rooted in what it means to look out for the interests of others, they become expressions of biblical love. Tripp 54

A good education…sounds like a good goal. I believe that we should make every effort to provide a good education for our children and teach them the importance of diligent, hard work. Some children do not have to work hard to get all A’s and some children work very hard to get a C. The importance is not what the report card says, but the honest effort put forth.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

So we make every effort to glorify God in all that we do.

So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Tough Question for Thought: What are some subtle ways you are tempted to teach your children to function in the society on its terms?

Shepherding a Child's Heart (Chapter 5ish)

We all have goals for our children and they are often reflected in how we treat them. We want our children to be successful. There can be different definitions of success leading to different methods of attempting to achieve success. So we set goals. These are things we may have consciously decided or unconsciously carry out.

The book discusses different unbiblical goals like “developing special skills” (like sports, music lessons…). Now, of course you can use special skills to serve the Lord, but if the aim of the special skill is to glorify the child or parent, it is unbiblical. Another unbiblical method of preparing your child for success is “psychological adjustment”. Using the latest pop psychology to increase your child’s self-esteem or teaching them how to “be effective with people”. Not all pop psychology is bad, but we should always ask if it is biblical.

How can you teach your children to function in God’s kingdom, where it is the servant who leads, if you teach them how to make the people in their world serve them? (Tripp 41)

Sometimes parents will think that if their child “gets saved” then all of their problems will go away. Oftentimes a parent’s objective is to get their child to pray the “prayer of salvation” not realizing that whether your child is saved or not has nothing to do with raising your child. Salvation comes from the Lord and we should be careful not to deceive a child into thinking they are saved, but shepherd a child on their journey toward Christ. Obviously salvation is a wonderful thing and not to be taken lightly. Such an important decision between your child and the King of the Universe is something all followers of Christ hope for and rightly so, but we know that it is just that, a decision between your child and God. When we allow God to do a work in our children it becomes a decision they can be confident in. Thank the Lord that he uses us as parents to prepare the hearts of our children for this decision.

There are a few other nonbiblical goals discussed in the book and I will get to them in another post. So let’s just get to the biblical goal…

BIBLICAL GOAL: “Glorify God and enjoy him forever”

Why is this so difficult…
We pander to their desires and wishes. We teach them to find their souls delight in going places and doing things. We attempt to satisfy their lust for excitement. We fill their young lives with distractions from God. We give them material things and take delight in their delight in possessions. Then we hope that somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving God. (Tripp 45)

I read this and immediately said “ouch”. I am soooo guilty of that. I feel sick. I need to pray. I will finish this post later.