I have a three year old...

Riley turned 3 on March 17th (St. Patrick's Day). Three...already! Am I really even a mom. When did this happen. I love it.


She had a good time. Can you tell?

Shepherding a Child's Heart (Chapter 9 &10)...

What does biblical communication look like in real life? Chapters 9 and 10 discuss the types of biblical methods and how you apply them to your lives and to the lives of your children. Most families have rules or boundaries set in place and consequences for not following those rules. Some have very few rules and "easy" consequences ("you don't get a piece of candy because you hit your sister"), but most would agree that rules and consequences are necessary. In biblical discipline we add a few more aspects in addition to rules, correction, and discipline like: encouragement, rebuke, entreaty, instruction, warning, teaching and prayer.

Warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:14

It is important to discern which type of communication is best for each circumstance. Encouragement is used when children feel the weight of failure, or feel as though they can't do something. As parents we should "help them assess the reasons for disappointment" and point them to the promises of God. Correction is used to let your child know what they did wrong and what needs to be done to correct the problem. It is a good time to teach your child God's standard. Rebuke is used when a child needs to experience a "sense of alarm" at what they have done. This is typically followed by another form of communication to provide understanding. Entreaty "involves pleading, soliciting, urging, and even begging." It involves vulnerability to plea with your child to act in wisdom and faith according to the word of God. This type of communication deals with situations of great importance.

"My son, give me your heart..." Proverbs 23:26

Instruction is guiding and teaching your child or simply providing your child with information to help them understand God, sin, temptation, and the world we live in. During instruction your child gains understanding. Warning is used to "put us on guard regarding a probable danger".

One of the most powerful ways we can warn our children is to fill their heads with cautions of the Bible. (Tripp 85)

Here are some examples found in Proverbs if you are interested (12:24; 13:18; 14:23, 15:1; 16:18; 17:19; 19:15). Teaching is used to pass on knowledge and is best used after a problem or failure. You may find it hard to teach during a problem because a child cannot focus on anything other than the failure or problem. Encouragement may need to come first. Finally, prayer... which is technically not communication with your child, but with God. I like this one. Sometimes I don't know what to say to Riley when I am trying to discipline. So, you know what we do...we pray. It helps me focus and Riley listens to the prayer. She understands that there is some weight to what is going on because we are talking to GOD about it.

So, there is no ONE way to correct and discipline a child. I pray that God gives us discernment, wisdom, and understanding as we raise our children to know the best way to communicate the truths of the Lord to them.

Communication not only disciplines, it also disciples. Tripp 89

Communication with our children will help them understand themselves better (motives, goals, desires), how to listen (not just because they listen to you...because YOU listen to THEM), and how to communicate with others.

Find the best time to talk to your children. If you are a morning person, this does not mean your children are. They may feel more apt to talk at night even though you are most chipper in the morning (in which they would just find annoying) or vice versa.

We must be a good example in the way we live according to God's word and we should not be afraid to ask for forgiveness. As parents we are building our trust with our children.

Children trust you when they know you love them and are committed to their good, when they know you understand them, when they know you understand their strengths and weaknesses, when they know that you have invested yourself in encouragement, correction, rebuke, entreaty, instruction, warning, understanding, teaching and prayer. Tripp 94

Taking the time to communicate well with our children will help prepare them for every relationship they will have in the future. They will not only understand "what" happened, but "why" it happened and what they can do about it or more importantly what God can do about it. And YES it will take time, but it will be worth it.

Is this kind of communication expensive? Yes! But the benefits far exceed the cost. Tripp 98

I've Gotta Get Through This...

Last week was crazy.
Monday: I ran 45 minutes...milestone for me, although hopefully it was more than just one mile...watch out... I am hilarious.

Tuesday: Jeremiah woke up with a fever of 100.4 so I could not take him to his class which means I couldn't work in the office. So, the Bear and I went to Grammy's house so I could get some work done and still be close to the school to pick up Riley. When Jer woke up from a short nap his temp was 105.3. I immediately got in the car to go to the Dr. of course it was 11:59 so they were about to close until 1:30. They said either go to the emergency room or we will see you at 1:30. Since I had to drive all the way to Newnan from Fayetteville and stop by my house to pick up infant tylonol and since Jer had no other symptoms besides fever I went to the Doctors office. They did all of the usual test and his fever kept going down so they sent us home. Mystery virus. So I went to the Kid's week Kickoff dinner at the church in Peachtree City that night. Missed multiple calls from the husband, which I got in trouble for, but completely deserved. Jer was breathing hard and his fever was still high. I met him at the ER once and once again...high fever...nothing else wrong! Which in a way is good because it is nothing too serious, but sometimes it is nice to KNOW what is causing the fever. Got home late.

Wednesday: In the morning go back to church do some work, go home, get Riley ready, go back to church with Riley. Jon and Jer stayed home because Jer still had a fever, so guess who gets to teach Jon's 1st-3rd grade discipleship class because Jon can't be there? So I combine Jon's class with my class (4th and 5th grade discipleship). I had 26 1-5th graders in a tiny room for 45 minutes...I was sweating and I use clinical strength secret people! It was crazy and frustrating and humbling all balled up into 45 minutes.

Thursday: Jon had an interview in Atlanta. So I had Jeremiah while I needed to get work done...he is still running a fever. Jon gets back from Atlanta...we go to the Church (I know you are thinking...wow they must be Godly people because they go to Church everyday...well...nope) to make a video to use in Praise Place on Sunday morning (which I am leading for all of the kids).

Friday: I ran 45 minutes again. That's all I remember about that day.

Jeremiah is well now. Riley has some sort of stomach virus. I have been praying for healing for my family. It seems as though someone is always sick.

So I sit down to write about the week in my journal...it looks similar to what you read and then I proceed to thank God for "getting me through it". I broke my own heart with my own words.

Never do I ever want to get through weeks anymore. I want to see God move in work in all situations of my life. What is the point of it all if I can't do that. Do I really trust God? How can I say I believe and trust in God if I just get through things.

I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
Psalm 34:1-2

Jon and I were talking last night about how Christianity is like a huge mountain with God at the top. We don't want to hang out in the parking lot and worship God from way down there. We want to climb the mountain and get closer to God every day. Some days we will fall and some days the road will be very steep, but other days we will sit and look out at the breathtaking view and we will hear God's voice more clearly as we get closer to him.

Shepherding a Child's Heart (Ch 8)...

So, in discussing this book we have talked a lot about what not to do and how not to communicate and discipline our children. Now the book begins to break down biblical methods so we can put them to practical use. Yea!

Biblical methods are just that...using the Word of God in disciplining. If you really believe that the word of God is "living and active" than you know that when you or your child speak scripture it has more weight than anything you or I can come up with. Our methods and goals in parenting should be based on the Word of God.

This chapter introduces the two elements involved in biblical parenting...communication and the rod. Scripture to support...Proverbs 23:13-19, Proverbs 23:22, and Proverbs23:26. Each of these elements are discussed in detail in the coming chapters.

The communication the book talks about has nothing to do with talking to your children, but everything to do with talking with your children. Yes, as a parent you need to have the ability to talk to your children, but also listen to them. This seemed difficult to me. I have an almost three year old and sometimes she doesn't know how to express what she is feeling or why she did something.

The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts. It is learning how to draw out the thoughts of another. Tripp 73

At a young age children will learn if we are interested in what they have to say. If we respond to everything they say with an "uh-huh" while we continue to watch tv or update our facebook status our kids will realize quickly that we are uninterested in what they have to say and then when they are a teenager we wonder why they do not want to share with us.

Our goal is to try to figure out why the child behaved like they did. What is going on inside or what temptation is provoking that behavior? It is not about how you or I feel about what they did, but what led them to that behavior.

What is important in correction is not venting your feelings, anger, or hurt; it is, rather, understanding the nature of the struggle that your child is having. Tripp 74

It is important for a child to understand the reality of temptation and sin and the hope of grace and mercy found in the Lord.

The book provides four issues to walk through when correcting and I found them helpful:

1) the nature of temptation

2) the possible responses to this temptation

3) the motives for those responses

4) the sinful response he/she chose.

We are above our children in this process because God has given us authority over them, but we also walk beside them because we are sinners that struggle with temptation daily t00. So we are responsible for censoring evil for our children but we are also understanding because we know all to well the struggle they face.

Therefore, since we have this great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we possess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16

Jeremiah is 9 months old!