Even as a young child, he is either worshiping and serving God or idols. (Tripp 20)
It comes down to, once again, the matter of their heart. We are all born sinners (Psalm 58:3, Psalm 51:5) and our children will sin by choosing a path away from God, or they will choose to follow him. This is usually expressed in their behavior. They are not acting the way they are simply because they are immature, but because it is in their nature to sin and need guidance and instruction to orient their worship to God and not idols. So children will react to their experiences in a way that points to God or out of unbelief.
He is either worshiping and serving and growing in understanding of the implications of who God is, or he is seeking to make sense of life without a relationship with God. (Tripp 21)
Our children are God’s creation. Satan is always seeking to destroy what God has created. I love that Tripp calls the child’s heart “the world’s smallest battlefield”. It would be ignorant of us to believe that there is not a spiritual battle raging in the hearts of our children and God has placed us in their lives to help and instruct our children in a way to overcome the enemy. Are you willing to fight for it? I am, let’s do it together.
Whenever we attack the enemy we do it under the authority of God. We, as parents, have authority over our children on behalf of God! It is important for parents to understand the authority given to them, so that our children know what to expect from us. This is not a forceful, overbearing authority, but one that loves and produces freedom in Christ. Modern day parenting encourages allowing children to be free to make their own decisions and be independent-thinkers. I also want to have children who can make their own decisions and think independently, but I do not think it is the result of letting them do these things as a child. Freedom is found in obedience (Psalm119:44-45) and my children will learn how to make good decisions by seeing me make good decisions. If I let my 3-year old decide what she wanted for breakfast each morning, it would be candies or cookies. If I let her decide like this she will more than likely choose what she wants at the time and what is easy. She would become frustrated as she grew up facing situations where she doesn’t get to make the decision or cannot get what she wants. She is now bound by selfishness. There is no freedom in that. She must learn to be a wise decision maker by how I make wise decisions and love her.
Our aim in parenting is to please the Lord, not for our children to please us. Just as Abraham did in Genesis 18:19.
You and your children are in the same boat. You are both under God’s authority. You have different roles, but the same master. (Tripp 29)
Because we discipline on God’s behalf we are required to correct and instruct so that we are obedient to God. Which, once again, we can find freedom in obedience because we are not acting in our will, but God’s will.
So our correction must not come from irritation or embarrassment, but by an inclination to obey God and instruct on HIS behalf which includes “pointing them to the mercy and grace of God shown in Christ’s life and death for sinners.” There is no place for anger (James 1:19-20). Anger only clouds what we are trying to point our children to…God, and often leads to manipulation of discipline (our kids obey because they are scared of us getting angry, not because it is right). If we are correct in our discipline our children will begin to learn that discipline brings understanding and will be more apt to receive it from anyone (Proverbs 15:32). Doesn’t that sound good?! God disciplines those he loves and that should lead us to discipline the ones we love because we know (as God does) that it brings about restoration of the heart.
Every night I pray that God would give me wisdom and discernment as I raise my kids. I need all the help I can get.
What are some things we can do to keep our discipline focused on turning our children to the paths of life? (taken from Shepherding a Child’s Heart Chapter 4 Discussion Questions)
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